This is Dedicated to the Me I Love

According to the July 2010 issue of Glamour, securing the #2 spot in their list of the Hardest Words for a Guy to Say is: "Can you save your yoga pants for, you know, yoga?" So that means "I think I prefer men" and "I haven't loved you since you went back to school" might come in after "I'm totally not down with cotton pants". Lo, the many mistakes I've made. Here, then a brief list of my other regrets:

• I regret having gratefully accepted a bag of hand-me-downs from a friend who'd lost forty pounds
• I regret pretending to understand the difference between "stupid fat" and "intelligent fat" as explained to me by a woman who was neither
  
• I regret allowing myself the cool, comforting embrace of a muumuu
• I regret ever having tasted Pinkberry

I am not a NO REGRETS gladiator. I don't see how you can leap toe-first into a pool of change if your diving board is free of barnacles. In the name of evolution, I declare:

I regret.

Onward?